Another sign that we don't believe in the positive aspects of things is that we don't trust others to be positive about us. We live by the motto "I don't want to join any club that wants me to be a member," and we see the acceptance of others as negative. Here are some more examples: When the boss praised Stephen for his work, Stephen thought, "He's just doing it to make me work harder. He's not satisfied with my performance." When Emma came back from her illness and went to work, her colleagues said hello to her, but Emma thought, "They ask what they know, and they don't really care about me.". I guess they're just doing it to make themselves feel better. When Peter praised Morion, Morion thought, "He's just saying that to please me. Maybe he wants to have sex with me." Paul gave a feasibility report on his work, and he knew that there were one or two weak points in the report. When he got positive feedback, he thought,Surveyors tape measure, "I lied to them again. They obviously didn't read it carefully. No one is interested in my work." Paul did not indulge himself in such negative thoughts. At my instigation, he asked his boss for his opinion, especially on the weak areas. Contrary to what he had expected, his boss said, "We know you were unclear in these areas of your report,Adhesive fish ruler, and that part was not clear in general. But anyway, your discussion of the other issues has provided us with some new insights to solve this project." In this way, Paul gained some evidence of the report's repercussions, rather than relying solely on his own feelings. Evolutionarily speaking, our defense system against deception may be overactive, making us extremely sensitive to the possibility of being deceived. Also, people have two types of fear of cheating: on the one hand, we may think that other people are cheating us with words of encouragement. On the other hand, tape measure clip ,Walking measuring wheel, we think that if we are praised, we have cheated them. Because deception can be a psychological threat, when we are depressed, we are more sensitive to deception. But we can challenge these ideas. For example Even if people are deceived to a certain extent, what does it matter? What's the harm to me? ? I shouldn't ask people to be honest all the time. 。 Life is life, and some people are more likely to cheat others. Generally speaking, if people praise you, but you are indifferent, then you should pay attention to it and find out why. Are they cheating on you? Or do you think you cheated them? ? Do you think you don't deserve praise? ? Do you lack trust in the positive? ? If yes Is it good for you? Think Examine the advantages of receiving praise instead of ignoring it mechanically. All-or-nothing thinking (sometimes referred to as all-or-nothing thinking, polarized thinking, or black-and-white thinking) is a typical mental response when our minds are threatened. We need answers that are quick, not delayed. Mistakes can cost humans dearly in the wild. Animals also need to make quick decisions (such as whether to run away when they hear the sound of bushes). If the options are clear (all or none), it's easier to make a quick decision. The problem is that all-or-nothing thinking can get us completely lost. We take absolutely no time or thought to consider the evidence for other possibilities. The following is typical of all-or-nothing thinking: ． My efforts have either succeeded or failed miserably.. I/he is either very good or very bad.. Right or wrong, there's no middle ground.. If I'm not perfect, I'm a failure. You are either a real man or a woman. If you don't agree with us, you're against us.. If things don't work out the way we planned and expected, it's a fiasco.. If you don't show me love often, you don't love me at all. There are two reasons why all-or-nothing thinking is so common. One is that we are uncomfortable with uncertainty, and many people are uncomfortable with uncertainty. Be sure to figure out how to do it and what is right. They create the certainty they need through all-or-nothing thinking. Sometimes we think that people who know themselves and understand important issues very clearly are powerful, and we worship them and try to emulate them. But you have to be careful. Hitler knew his own mind. He was the epitome of the all-or-nothing thinker. Some people who look strong are actually very rigid. I find that many depressed people worship those who are strong. In fact, if you get close to these people, you will find that these people are neither strong nor compassionate. They are shallow, rigid, all or nothing, and often eager to express their views. Sometimes, it may not be harmful for you to jump out of the circle first and see the problem as gray. Although we will eventually have to go in, at least we have left ourselves room to weigh the evidence and let our rational minds do some work. Another common cause of our all-or-nothing thinking is frustration (see Chapter 15). Anne, for example, was so preoccupied with how to make her guests feel better that she burned the food. She thought to herself,cattle weight tape, "I've made a mess of the whole party. I can't cook a meal well.". Now everyone knows how incompetent I am. Her disappointments/frustrations and feelings of insecurity (not being good enough for others) lead her to an all-or-nothing mindset: "I messed up the whole night." In fact, this phenomenon is all too common, how many times have we quit just because a little thing is not going well? But what is the evidence that the whole evening was a mess? I asked Annie about it. (Annie's answer is in parentheses).. Did people talk to each other? (Yes) ． Do they chat and laugh? (Yes) · Is the atmosphere relaxed or tense? (Relax) ． Did everyone throw up after eating the food you cooked? (No) ． Did they say they had a good time? (Yes). tapemeasure.net